Adventure of A Lifetime Ch. 15

TF Story 1.15

Lost Memories</u>

Will looked out to the stairs where the rather intimidating dragon had made his exit. What had he meant about thinking things through? If Will had just lost someone he would have been glad to see them. Maybe give them a passionate hug and tell his lost friend that he missed him. But this dragon didn’t do any such thing.

“What’s wrong with him?” the other dragon said as she turned to follow him. Chris put his hand on the shoulder of the bronze dragon, though for him the shoulder was above his head. So he had to look up at here when he spoke.

“Leave him be, if he said he wanted to be alone we should respect his wishes.”

“I- I do feel a little tired.” she started to say and slumped against the table, looking as if the whole world weighed in upon her. Chris helped her up the stairs.

“You can rest here tonight, don’t worry, Alimar can take care of himself.”

Will sat there and blinked, looking like a stuffed trophy on a desk. What had compelled him to break into this persons house? He had never done such a thing before. A thirty year old never does such a thing unless they were perverts.

Will just sat there in thought, half torn between following this ‘Alimar’ and his patient. The latter sounded better, because Alimar would be back to see how his friend fared.

**********

Alimar breathed in the cool, pine scented air. It was relaxing for him. The coldness helped his injured leg as well. It didn’t hurt as much as it had before. The white snow contrasting that of the darkened bark of the pines. No birds were out, nor any other animal. It was eerily quiet in the forested woods. “I thought I’d lost her Svear, now she comes back and I feel stuck in a void. Like the one we were in when we accessed an impossible dream.”

What do you mean?

“It’s...nothing, forget about it.” Alimar said to Svear. But he wasn’t fooled, he was in his mind. Svear had caught a brief glimpse of flames in Alimar’s head before he closed it off to him.

Do you mean the relationship of the burning home and the phoenix saving her life? Do you want to talk about it?

“No I don’t.”

Bad memory? Svear asked concerned.

Alimar didn’t answer for a while as he thought. “If you want to believe it like that. Then yes.” Alimar tripped over a stone and landed in the deep snow. He got up and brushed himself off. “I hate being crippled.”

What did you say?

Alimar was confused, he thought he had made it clear of what he said. “I hate having a crippled leg.”

You just said thurgix Alimar.

“Thurgix? Whats that?”

I don’t know but you said that you didn’t like being thurgix. I think in what you meant to say was you hated being crippled.

Alimar was more confused than ever, he knew what he had said. “I told you that already, I didn’t say thurgix I said crippled!”

You just did it again!

Alimar shook his head and stopped walking. Thurgix, the word was familliar to him in some way, just then it came to him, thurgix meant lame or crippled! Alimar tried to say crippled again slowly, but he felt his lips and tongue form the word ‘thrugix’. “Svear, I think I’m starting to speak draconic.”

You read my mind, though we are actually one mind so yeah. But how could that be?

“Is it a side effect of the costume that only came out now?” Alimar said as he started trudging through the snow again.

Hmmmm, could be. We should ask Drethan about that, but I recommend not saying your leg is crippled until we figure this out.

“Agreed, lets go.” Alimar plunged deeper into the forest, only hindered by his leg. As he walked he was deep in thought. Something had bugged him about what had happened to him recently but he couldn’t make the connection. It was as if the harder he grasped for the memory of what had bothered him the more he felt it slip from his grasp
.
He was deeply disturbed about what he had felt. All he could see is flames when he looked back on why he was disturbed. Alimar kept this phenomenon to himself as he trudged on deeper into the snow.

Alimar was entrenched deep into his thoughts before he realized that he had almost reached the cliff of where he fell before. He was about a few hundred yards away. He stopped and observed the somber scene from a distance. He saw the familiar boulders that had fallen around him when he fell. Escorting him like a pair of angels to heaven, though those lead him to his death, but now they were lying on the ground unmoving.

He was still far away but he could remember the scene like it was yesterday he didn’t need to see the area of his death. Alimar bowed his head, let his tail droop, and walked on, covering his body with his cloak. “I should have really brought my coat.”

Your back spikes have done enough damage to it- Svear stopped abruptly as Alimar twisted himself around and looked behind him. What is it? Svear whispered in his ear as if something could hear his thoughts other than Alimar.

I don’t know Svear, Alimar replied, I thought I felt a disturbance in the air, like something was following us. He scanned the bleached landscape with his eyes, all he saw was the usual shrub, or bush. Besides the trees of course. Disturbed by this invisible presence that he felt. Alimar turned and limped off towards the rock face.

It took him a while to reach it but as he did so he found a rift in the rock face. A large crack that extended itself all the way up the cliff. An idea popped into his head and Alimar entered the rock face.

Do you know what your running from?

“No,” Alimar grunted as he finally found the back of the crevice. “But I’d rather not meet whoever it is. Just to be safe...Crap it’s a dead end!”

Climb up it.

“Good idea.” Alimar took a grip on a rocky outcropping and lifted himself. It would have been easy for him with his increased muscle density because of being a dragon but his leg slowed him down considerably. Alimar finally put his cane between his teeth and started using his free hand to climb as well. He lifted himself a few more feet until he came to a ledge where he couldn’t reach the next hand hold. Looking around he saw a small crack on the other wall. Even though the crevice was dark, Alimar could see a little better than the normal human because of his increased eyesight. The crack was large enough to stick his cane in he could use the cane to climb to the next ledge.

Alimar took his cane and shoved it into the hole. Pushing it in as far as it would go and then pulled himself up it and reached up to the next ledge. As he placed his foot on the cane to gain a little more height, the cane snapped.

As he fell, Alimar scrabbled for something to grip himself with. He caught hold of the ledge he had used before the cane but it didn’t hold for long. Then that rest crumbled as well under his weight and came crashing down.

As he landed upon his back, he then bruised one of his wings because of the impact of him falling.  Alimar gritted his teeth and didn’t cry out just in case his pursuer would hear him. Though he couldn’t help but let out a moan.

“Why do these things always happen to me?” Alimar asked himself quietly, then he thought of something ironic. “Why does it seem like events are repeating themselves?”

Svear stayed quiet, which was a good thing, because Alimar did not have the mood for his usual sarcasm. He slowly got to his feet, the pain in his wing making him unbalanced. Which was quite common since the wing had a lot of nerves in it to keep dragons balanced and coordinated during flights.

Alimar looked around the fault of rock for his pursuer, and then he saw it. The barrel of a carbine. He followed it up to the mans face, their eyes locking. Alimar didn’t know what this person wanted but the carbine didn’t tell him this man came in peace. Gathering himself up, Alimar ran and jumped over the man and then took the fall with a roll, gritting a little bit at the pain in his wing.  As he escaped the fissure, Alimar turned and started to climb the rock face, his adrenaline pumping made it easy for him to climb fast and swiftly.

Alimar traveled as fast as he could to his cave. He was not going to let this person hunt him like a pitiful animal. He would fight if he were to die. Heaving the door open which kept the snow drifts out of the cave, Alimar limped towards the back of the cave and grabbed his sword. Just as he was returning to the front of the cave he saw the silhouette of the man, just like the one in the fissure.

“Come no further!” Alimar shouted hiding in the darkness of the cave. His deep voice enhanced by the echoing of the cave.

The man stopped before the yawning entrance.  “Who are you?” he called out into the cave.

“Someone who doesn't like people messing in their affairs,” Alimar replied his voice seething with anger. Alimar saw that the man was tempted to step into the cave, but he wouldn’t allow it.  

“I do that for a living,” The man grimly said, as if he were recollecting a bad moment in his history. Alimar’s anger boiled off of him, how dare that person enter his lair! Quickly he drew his sword and willed to have the flame come alive. As the brightness intensified, his figure was no longer mistaken for being human.

“Take one step closer and I will be forced to act!” he shouted, the deep voice that reverberated around the cave.

The man took an involuntary step backward and slung his weapon off his shoulder.  “What ARE you?” he asked in mixture of awe and bewilderment.  

“Someone who has had a rough time,” Alimar said, glaring at him.  

“How so?”

“I'm not going to explain my life's story to someone who broke into my home and is threatening me with that weapon of yours,” Alimar said, with ice in his voice. As he observed the mans stance, Alimar could tell that he was experienced, His feet were set not to wide apart but enough to keep him balanced and to retaliate if needs be.

“I never meant you any harm,” he said somewhat reproachfully.  

“Then why do you carry that with you?” Alimar asked, pointing the tip of his flaming sword at the carbine in the mans hands.

“I was hunting in the woods when I saw you.”  

He snorted, causing smoke to trail out of his nostrils.  “Put that down, I warn you.  This is my cave, and I will not permit trespassers.”  

The man lowered his gun but still gripped the stock firmly, “If I wanted to kill you, I would have done it back after you slipped off the rock wall.”

Alimar thought about that comment.   “Hmm...But then did you know I was who I am right now?  I look human when I have my robe on.”

“You left tail marks and huge, clawed feet.”

Alimar looked down at the ground.  “In the snow?  Where?  When?” he queried impatiently.

“Before you ran up the mountain slope. Or hobbled, I should say.”

Alimar was worried, where had this man been? "Did you see my marks anywhere else?”

"Ah, those must have been your tracks next to the stream!”

James furrowed his brow. “The tracks by the river...” he mumbled to himself, “No one would have remembered them as a dragon’s, unless...” his voice trailed off. It clicked in his head,  “You’ve been to Second Identity, haven’t you?”

“What? The costume shop?”  His eyes suddenly lightened.

The dragon stared directly into his eyes, “All I heard is that he makes costumes.”

“Then why mention it?”

Alimar knew he was caught, “I-....Nothing.”

The man took advantage of the situation, “Funny that you should mention that store. The owner happens to be making me a custom suit.”

Alimar stomped his foot and then made a weird noise.  “I'll tell you once, don’t get one if you value the one life you like.  If you do get one, remember that you will never be the same again.  Some love the costumes, some hate them. Some can deal with it. But whatever choice you make, make sure it’s one you can stick by.”  He stopped and cocked his head as if listening to someone. “Oh, yeah, If you do get one, I hope to see my brother...” he said before strangely trailing off.

Finally shouldering his weapon, the man replied replied slowly, “Is that what happened to you?”

“Is what happening to me?” Alimar asked, looking confused by the question.

The man took a step forward.  “Did you lose something from it?  Is that why you avoided the question?”

“Lose something from what?” Alimar asked again, lowering his sword.

“You have one of his suits, don't you?” He said, pressing the issue.

Svear took control of their body and snapped his fingers. The cave, lit by gas lamps, was flooded in light, revealing his home.  “I am his costume.”

The man blinked in surprise, both at the lights and the statement. “What?!  How can you be the costume?”

Alimar was shocked by what Svear said, he dropped his sword which extinguished when it left his hand.  “I can’t believe you told him that? Why did you have to tell him that!” he shouted at the empty room.

“Because we finally get to meet another one of us if he chooses to get a costume.” Svear said out of his mouth.

Alimar ripped control away from Svear. “He said he was buying one. You couldn't just keep your mouth shut, could you?”  

Svear glanced at Jake and then looked away.  “James, I don’t waist assets.  Especially since we can’t go into town unseen.”

You had to use James’s name didn’t you? Alimar added silently. What are you doing?

Just follow along, It’ll break the tension.

“What do you mean?” the man asked, stepping back a little, obviously worried about this dragons schizophrenic actions.

Alimar held his hand a little embarrassed he didn’t know what to do he was so confused.  “N-Nothing.  Just ignore what I said.”

The man stared at him.  “Yeah, sure, how long have you been here?”

Alimar glanced at the rising moon. “It looks like another storm is brewing.  They get quite bad in the winter.  I'll help you find your way back to your house after the storm is over.  Come, as long as you leave your weapon next to the door, you may have what meager dinner I can offer you.”

The man rested his gun against the cave wall. “I can't really refuse, now can I?”

“Not unless you want to die out in the blizzard.” Alimar passed the man and pushed the door shut..  “You look to have the experience of the fighter about you.  Tell me, what's your story?”

“I believe I already asked you that.”

Alimar sat down and huffed, he was tired from his trip today and this man wasn’t making it any easier for him.  He plugging one nostril and then exhaled out the other, a stream of flames flew from his nose and engulfed the campfire, setting it ablaze.  He set some frozen meat into a pot and suspended it over the fire.  Alimar gazed at the flames, whenever he concentrated on them. He could feel the fire feeding on his frustrations, it soothed him somewhat. He sighed before asking, “Do you mean how long I have had a costume or how long I’ve been a dragon?”

The man looked confused.  “Wouldn't they be the same question?”

“It’s like Accuracy and Precision, each sound the same and are similar, but each has a different answer and solution,” Alimar said wisely while silently praising his knowledge.

The man shuffled next to the fire and held out his hands to warm them, “Well then, let's hear the first. When did you get the costume?”

“A few months ago, before I graduated from high school.”

“So you weren’t a dragon after you got the costume?  How was it different from being a dragon?”


“The questions are different because back then, I could change back to being human,” Alimar answered solemnly.

The man stopped rubbing his numb hands. “What happened?”

“I died,” Alimar replied simply and sadly.

“I think I had better handle it, Alimar,” Svear said.

Okay, Alimar agreed nervously, Just don’t tell him more than you have to.

Okay, Svear nodded before adding, “Besides, it’s better from my perspective.”

“Who is Alimar?” he asked, now thoroughly perplexed.

“I am.”

“In that case, I’m Jake.”

“I'm Alimar, or James...it’s so confusing.  Sorry, my name is Alimar.” he replied as he contemplated his real name. It was always confusing when the costume changes your identity as well as your body.

Jake managed a smile and held out his hand.  “It's nice to meet you, Alimar.”

Alimar gripped Jake’s smaller hand that was held out to him,  “Actually, my human name is James, But I’m Alimar...It gets way too confusing for me...” His voice drifted off.

“If you don't understand it, I don't think I will either.  Alimar is fine.”

“Thanks.”

“Well, what happened after…” Jake’s voice trailed off.

“Well, as I was saying, James died,” Svear continued, “He was my partner, I had to save him.  You see, he had fallen off this exact same cliff and he was dying with no help coming. So I did what I had to do to save his life; I merged with him.”

“Wait, you said that James is your human name.  So what do you mean by saying that you ‘merged with him’?”

Svear sighed and bowed his head. Alimar could see Svear getting frustrated,  “I'm sorry, I should have been more clear.  My name is Svear, I'm James's costume.”

Could you stop using his name? That’s not who I am anymore.

Svear ignored him and continued, “ Drethan made me in his shop.  My purpose was to give what James most desperately wanted, and that was to be his avatar: Alimar.  So he now is his avatar.  Drethan could explain it better.  He made me.  All I know is from what he told us.”

Jake's eyes widened.  “The old man's costumes talk?”

“Some of them.  It happens quite randomly, you know. He doesn't know how it works.  One minute they just turn the user into what they represent, the next they actually have a mind within it.  As I said before, Drethan could explain it better.”

They stared at each other for a few seconds then the man dropped his gaze onto the crackling fire.  “Huh.  I guess that's not quite as far-fetched as them turning people into things.”

“Actually, I found that having Svear inside me the first time was quite invading. But since that time, we've grown fond of each other.” Alimar replied, deciding not to let Svear have the whole time to talk to him.

Jake laughed,  “I would hope so!”  Alimar wondered what he meant by that comment but he left it alone. Suddenly his voice changed to a more serious tone.  “How long has this guy, Drethan, been doing this?”

“From what I’ve heard from some select individuals that have crossed my path, I'm guessing maybe two years ago he started this.”

“Select individuals?  What else is out there?” Jake asked, gesturing towards the entrance of his cave.

“I bet you’ve met some of them.” Alimar said.  “I’m not the only one that lives in these mountains.  Though because of the spell you might not have realized that they were what they are.”

“I've only met one other guy.  He didn't look...Wait, he mentioned the Second Identity too!”

There was only one other man out there that would talk about the second identity in this reigon. “You must've met my friend Chris.” Alimar said, smiling a little.  “How's his animal side?”

“You know him?  He didn't say anything about what costume he got.”

“Oh, he's around.  You probably out saw him hunting but never knew it.  He likes hunting as a wolf.  Keeps his food bills down, he says.” Alimar said recalling the meeting he had with Chris when he was at his house a week ago.

Jake looked like he was thinking then a huge grin broke out across his face.  “Ha, I almost shot the poor guy!” he chuckled.

“He must have liked that.  Let me guess, he invited you to go hunting?”  Alimar said with a wide grin, “I guess he was planning on scaring the wits out of you with his costume.”

“I can hardly believe it.  That's why the wolf followed me.  Just like that dog did, the very same day.”

“Hmm...dog,” Alimar said thoughtfully, “Never met a dog before.  Guess he lives in the urban area.”

“Yeah, it was in town.”  Jake fell silent for a moment.

Alimar pulled the pot of the stove and took a piece of meat and gave it to Jake on a flat rock.  “I don’t have anything better; I hope you don’t mind.”

“I've had worse than this. A lot worse.”

Alimar, remembered a time when he had to go camping with some of his friends and all they had were stale cookies -Most of which were in a persons pocket for who knows how long.- because his friend had forgotten the food, and laughed.  “Tell me about it!”

Jake looked up.  “You know what MRE stands for?”

“Meals ready to eat.  But they are not meals and they are not ready to eat,” Alimar said, smiling as he ate his meat raw. It disappeared in one gulp.

Jake laughed.  “MRE. Meals Rejected Everywhere.”

Alimar grinned,  “Never hear that one before.”

“Ever had one?”

“Plenty,” Alimar said.  “My dad had to work for the military at one point.  I think it was something that required an engineer to do.”

“Probably to show the boys how to repair choppers or something.  Funny thing is, you have to have a college diploma to fly one, but high school dropouts fix 'em.”

“Sounds like you have experience in the military.”

The man smiled faintly, “Strait out of college, joined up with the Marines. Did my best in everything.  I even made it into the Special Forces.  That was my dream.”

“That’s what you meant about affairs.”  Alimar grinned and stood.

“Yep.  Delta Force.  Probably the most undisciplined group in the military.”

You seemed disciplined enough.  Especially with a grouchy old dragon like me.” Alimar added, realizing how quickly Jake had gotten used to his presence.

Jake took a bite of the steaming food.  “I was only with them for three years.”

“Let me guess.  You had enough or you got injured enough to get transferred out.”

“Nope.  I got a better offer.”

“A home in the upper mountains of Sunrise Valley.  How nice.” Alimar laughed, but the laughter soon died down.

“No.  I joined Sandline International.  A big private military contracting firm.”

Hmm...something tells me that I'm getting in over my head.” Alimar said, walking to the door of the cave and checking outside.  The wind was blowing and large flakes were coming down.  He closed it again to keep the cold out.

“Not quite.  They're more, shall we say, discreet than most industries, but they're not classified.  Basically, you do guard work.  Protect diplomats, escort convoys, deliver medical supplies, that sort of thing.  Except they pay you four times what the military does.  Plus, you're not at risk of getting crucified over your commander's mistake, like in the military.”

“Sounds like a good deal, what made you leave?  And don’t tell me it was for the sunrise, that’s an overused joke here.”

Jake shrugged.  “I got enough to retire.  Why stick around?  War is hell.”

“True, though I think war is worse than Hell.”

“At least war has an end.  Either that, or you or your buddy gets shot, and then it's over.”

“But think of this.  Who goes to Hell?” asked Alimar, glancing at Jake

He was silent for a moment,  “You never know, do you?”

“Sinners, bad people go to Hell, the ones who deserve it.  But many innocents die in war.  So war is worse than Hell in my opinion."

“Yeah.  Sometimes it's worse for those who survive.”

“Exactly,” Alimar agreed, looking solemn again.

“So, what happened after you merged with your costume?”

“I’ve had an adventure of a lifetime,” Alimar said, “I wouldn't trade it for the world.”

“All in just a few months?  I'd say you've got room for more adventures to come.”

“Well, you wouldn't believe the things I’ve been through" Alimar said, limping back to the stool and sitting down, stretching out his hurt leg.  “I'd like some quiet for a change.  Though every time I get some its usually at night.”

“When did you get that limp?”

“Like I said,” Alimar stated, stretching his leg out more, which now shows the large wound in his leg that was healed over, “I do want my peace and quiet sometimes.”

Jake, having finished his meal, set the rock plate down.  “I can understand.”  Selecting a spot against the wall sit and lean against, he folded his hands across his chest.

“Well, I tried to save someone that was lost to me.  You wouldn't understand what happened unless you knew magic, like us costume owners do,” Alimar said.  “I tried to reach the impossible, and I got this as a reminder of my rashness.”

Jake flinched.  “A family member, was it?”

“A friend, that you could meet later,” Alimar said, covering up his large scar.

“Now you've confused me again.”

“Sorry, Alimar should have been more clear,” Svear replied.  “We had a friend that died, or close to it.  We tried to bring her back, and that," Alimar said, pointing to his wound, “Was the cost of that act.”

“Not that. The part where you said I could meet her.”

“Ah, well, she's at Chris' house right now recovering from her near-death experience,” Alimar said.  “I was returning home when we saw each other.”

An enlightened expression crossed Jake's face.  “Ooh.”

“Yeah,” Alimar said, lowering his head, “You'll find a small group of us have become close... friends.  Just don’t shoot any bears or wolves around here.”

Jake smirked and nodded.  “I'll be sure of that.”

Alimar grinned, showing his sharp teeth again.  “So, what is your decision?”

“Well, what's the worst that could happen?” Jake asked, sighing.

“The worse that could happen if you get a costume?  You could get addicted to it. You have to wear it constantly, or you could be forced to wear a suit to save your life, like mine.”  

Is that really how you feel Alimar? Do you feel like I forced you to become what you are right now? Svear asked with sadness in his voice.

“I didn't say I didn't like being a dragon, Svear.” Alimar said aloud, “ My only regret is that I wasn't able to say goodbye to my parents. I told you, I love being who I am and who I was meant to be.”

Alimar grinned, showing his sharp teeth again. “So, what is your decision?”

“Why not? I've got nothing to loose.”

“You'd be surprised what you miss in your human life,” Alimar said.

“I miss the company of others.  Though for Alimar, that's what he has been: alone for a long time.  So he's used to it.” Svear added.

“I've never been the most social individual.  Hated crowds.  Heck, I still do.”

“Well, it gets confusing to me whether I'm James, the hard working kid who gets good grades, or Alimar the Hero Dragon that has had a hard life.”

“How can that be confusing?  After all, you’re still the same guy, just with a costume on, right?”

“When your costume changes your mind as well to fit your avatar, you have the memories of being human, but you believe that your are your avatar.  I am Alimar, but James was the human that tragically lost his life.  It gets so confusing I just try to think of something else entirely.”

“Do they all do that?”

“No.  From what I’ve heard, I'm the only one that was modeled after his persona, though I doubt I’m the only one.  If yours is, then you'll have the same persona problems.”

“A persona?” Jake said, looking back over to Alimar. “No, I don't have anything like that. At least, I don't think I do.”

“Hmm...well, you won’t have an identity crisis like what I have. Though I have heard that if your wish is too strong to become something else, You'll lose your mind to that animal.”

“Well, knowing that would lessen your wish right there.”

“Pfff, not if you’re obsessed with the animal you’re becoming.”

Jake stared at the opposite wall before replying.  “Maybe I used to, but not so much now.  Still, how could anyone not want something like that?”

“You'd be surprised,” Alimar said, “So what animal did you commission Drethan to make?”

“Oh, I...”  Jake paused, “A werecat!  That's what it was. Strange thing.  I can hardly remember that conversation.”

Hmm...sounds like his spell works, for the most part.” Alimar said, leaning back.

“His spell?  Ah, he did something with a ball of fire. Is that what it was for?”

Alimar shook his head, “He made a spell that makes people forget things. Like an odd appearance of a dog that acts almost human, the odd tracks in the snow. Usually when someone orders a costume they, forget about it before it arrives.”

“Oh.”  Jake looked unsettled at this. “He must have a real hold on this town.”

“He's not a maniac looking to dominate the earth.” Alimar said.  “All he wants is power, not the power you get from armies and dictatorships, but just power in magic. That’s why he's researching the power of wishes.”

Jake's troubled look changed to a dark grin. “Ah, power.  Now there's something valuable.  And when you think about, it's everywhere, and everyone has a certain measure of it.  The trick is to learn how to manipulate it, and get more of it.”

“I guess, that’s what Drethan is trying to do.”

Jake laughed and said, “I cannot think of a more ironic way to gain power than by using the personal desires of others.  Of course, when you think about it, that's really the only way you can get it.”  Alimar nodded agreeing with Jake.  “It seems that he gave you an amount of power of your own with that costume.”

“Actually, the power is inside us.  It’s the power of wishes. The costumes just tap that power."

Jake blinked.  “What? You mean that they're powered by the wearer?  I would have thought that he had to recharge them every now and then.”

“You have the wish to become a Werecat.  Well, the costume that Drethan is making for you feeds off of that wish.  It utilizes the energy you have and transforms you into the werecat.  Thereby your wish is fulfilled and it can feed off the energy even more.”

“Huh.  Well, that's certainty convenient.”

“Yes, it is.” Alimar said.  “It’s getting late.  You’d better take my room to sleep. I'll be out here if you need anything.”

“Thanks.”  Jake got up and moved to the back of the cave.  Halfway there, he turned and said, “Oh, and by the way, I'm sorry about giving you trouble earlier.  Hope that fall didn't hurt too much.”

Alimar shrugged, “It’s just hurt my wings.  That'll heal eventually.”

“Ow, I bet those things would be tender.”

Alimar shrugged, "Don’t worry, get some sleep.  It might be a long storm.”

“Alright.” Jake said, and Alimar watched him lay down on the mat.

Alimar adjusted his seat next to the fire and began his meditation.

**********

As Alimar was meditating, the usual breathing of Jake had begun to change to that of rapid panting. Alimar opened up one eyelid and observed Jake intently from across the cavern. Suddenly Jake woke up and sat up swiftly. Panting a little bit the man wiped his forehead and laid back down. He closed his eye again.

“Is anything the matter?” Alimar asked.

Jake panted for a few moments and then replied, "Nothing. Just a dream."

Alimar opened one of his eyes an looked at the sweating man, "I told you that my food was meager. I probably should have cooked the food more."

Jake tried a weak laugh. "No, your meal was fine. It's just a dream I sometimes have."

"I have experience in dreams before, tell me."

"Oh, ah well..." Jake swallowed. "It's a bit personal."

"Well I'm not one to pry into peoples buisness unless its nessesary." Alimar replied, closing his eyes, "If it keeps bothering you just let me know."

"Thanks, I'll keep that in mind." Jake continued to stare at the roof unblinkingly. A few minutes went by before Jake asked, "What time is it?”

"Well, its only been about an hour why?" Alimar said still having his eye's closed.

A barely audible hiss left Jake's lips. "Only an hour." he uttered.

Alimar muttered in a barely audiable tone. "Time seems to be repeating itself Svear..."

A few minutes went past in silence as Svear, kept trying to convince Alimar to tell him what was bugging him but to no avail. A voice broke their conversation. "Your dreams give you trouble?"

Alimar opened his eyes at the comment. "Not only my dreams, the dreams of others."

"Oh?" Jake said, continuing the conversation in an attempt to ward off further sleep.

"Like I said before, I’ve had experience in dreams"

Several minutes later, Jake finally said, "What kind of experience?"

Alimar sighed, "The same person I told you about before was stuck in a dream world of sorts. Her costume made her become rampant because she couldn't control the emotions. I had to help her out of her mental battle."

"You sound like you have a lot of friends." Jake said softly.

"Not many," Alimar said, "All my relationships are stressful at best. Its just part of my nature of being alone."

Now Svear was confused, what was Alimar talking about? "You enjoy your solitude?" Jake asked.

"As much as anyone can. It's not that I don’t like company its just, when I’m with people, it just feels awkward."

Jake chuckled. "You feel awkward around me?"

"No...Well not much anyways." Alimar said obviously trying to express himself.

"Hm, that's good to know." Jake went back to staring at the ceiling.

"I don’t know, its just when I created myself as it were. Or when James created his avatar. He made him a loner. One who worked well by himself. Its not that he cant be around people its just..." Alimar’s voice trailed off trying to express himself but he obviously couldn't.

"I know what you mean." Jake said. After some time, he cleared his throat. "Ever make decisions you regret?"

"Plenty," Alimar replied sadly.

Jake lifted his head up to face Alimar. "How do you deal with it?"

Alimar looked at Jake, "When I make mistakes I try not to let what I cant change bother me. I forgive myself."

Jake sighed and looked back at the ceiling. "That's not an easy thing to do."

"I never said it was. But you cant change the past...I learned that the hard way."

"You want to talk about it?"

Alimar laughed because of what he just said, "I asked you the same thing a minute ago!"

Jake grunted. "You seem more willing to go into your past than I am."

"Maybe that’s how I forgave myself. I let my frustrations out."

Jake fell silent for several minutes. "The dream is about something that happened 4 years ago."

"When you were with the military contractor?"

Jake nodded. "We were delivering medical supplies to a Marine station. The insurgents had planned an ambush. They had a car pull up next to our vehicle, and detonated it. After we crawled from the wreckage, gunfire opened up all around us. I looked for the gunmen, but all I could see was the crowd. They were on all sides."

"Wow, And you have these recurring nightmares?"

He swallowed, then continued. "The crowds were giving the shooters cover. They knew we wouldn't fire on unarmed people. I watched as my friend was cut down. He was shot about eight times."

"No wonder you have nightmares. A real warrior would fight close and personal and not use civilians as cover. Those COWARDS!" Alimar spat out the last word.

"I didn't care about the crowd anymore. I switched my rifle to full auto and aimed at the crowd. Dropped about 15 of them. By then the other vehicles had turned around and gave us cover."

"So your hitting yourself over the head because you killed people?"

Jake laughed cruelly. "Them? No. I wish I had killed every one of them."

"Then it was your friend."

"It was my fault their ambush succeeded. I was on rear watch. It was my job to fire on any vehicle approach from the rear."

"Why didn't you fire on it?"

"There was a women driving it. Her kid sat next to her. I didn't suspect they would do that."

"You sure they meant to?"

"I can only guess."

"I can see your problem."

Jake smiled hollowly. "I bet you've never made a mistake that cost the lives of others."

"I have, but I’ve tried to forgive myself."

Jake sighed. "I can try to rationalize it all I want, but that doesn't change what happened. I caused the death of my teammate."

Alimar bowed his head and a tear escaped his eye glinting in the firelight, "At least you didn't cause the death of your sister."Nothing but silence from Jake.

WHAT?!?! Svear was shocked, he had never known this part of James’ life. He must have hidden it in the deepest part of his mind and heart. How come you never told me?

Because, It was better off for you not knowing. I didn’t want to hurt you, as well as me. Svear was silent, obviously trying to digest what he had said.

"You did?" Jake asked.

Alimars body started shaking as he sobbed, "Do you know what its like to loose someone close to your heart?"

Jake sat up and looked on at the humbled creature. "Not like that."

"I do," ALimar said another tear rolling down his face, "You may have noticed my scars, but the worst ones are in my heart."

Jake was at a loss for words. "How long ago?"

"About three years now." Alimar said as more sobs took control over him. "You say rationalizing doesn't help. Your right, It doesn't, I have to live with what happened to her."

"How did it happen?"

"I took her for a ride. I had finally received my license." Alimar said "It was her birthday. I took her out for a meal. She was ten and I was sixteen. We got in a wreck."

"With another car?"

Alimar nodded, "WE were T-boned on my side. The ambulance got there and pulled myself and the other driver out. When they went to get my sister, the car ignited. I yelled at them to take my sister first. But they wouldn't listen."



Jake didn't know what he could say, but finally spoke. "I can't imagine something as horrible."

Alimar was silent, "It should have been me. I promised myself that i would never be as close to someone again. That’s when I created my avatar. One that liked to be alone for the most part. But could still interact with people."

"Sounds like you two were good friends. That counts for something."

"We were more than friends, we were tighter than if we had been born in the same body. When she died, I felt like half of my soul disappeared."

"How did you go on with your life?"

"I forgave myself." Alimar said, "I still have the guilt and the sadness but I forgave myself none the less."

"How long did that take?"

"It took me months to realize that I was blaming myself, I still do. Another few months to realize that there was nothing I could have done. And then I forgave myself. To tell you the truth, I still haven’t gotten over it, but my nightmares have stopped."

"How can you just put aside the guilt and forgive yourself?"

"You cant, its not that easy. You have to admit that you couldn’t have done anything."

"I'd be lying to myself if I did that."

"Tell me, if I asked you to shoot a woman and her child would you have done it? Or would you
have said no?"

“If I had known that their car was rigged to explode, then yes. I would have shot her.”

Alimar bowed his head and sighed, "So you have given up all hope then."

Jake was silent, not knowing how to respond. Finally he turned away and said, "Perhaps there is redemption for me somewhere, but I have yet to find it."

"Well it finally worked."

Jake quickly turned around, facing Alimar. "What did?"
"The first step to healing is to ask for help, wether to someone or to no one, it does not matter."

Jake said nothing. His eyes, which had been steady and resolute, softened and dropped to the floor.

"I cant cure you of your pain. I still have mine. It’s a process you must undergo yourself. Though relieving your burdens on another helps them to become lighter."

"I suppose so," was all Jake could answer. Feeling exhausted, he lay back down on his mat and closed his eyes, submitting to whatever dreams lay in store.

"Hmmm indeed." Alimar said then closed his eye's and said no more.

**********

This was Svear’s chance! He could finally get the answers he needed, while Alimar slept. Conscious he was mentally guarded, but now if he was asleep, Svear would have access to his mind. Svear delved deep into Alimar’s mind causing the simulation of a chemical called: Adenosine. Soon, Alimar fell of his chair and hit the ground, asleep.

Svear reached into Alimar’s unguarded mind and looked for the memory that haunted him. Sorry my friend, he thought, But I need to know.

**********

“Hey Katie!” James shouted up the stairway. It was her birthday and he wanted to give her something special.

“Yes?” called back the sweet voice.

“I have a surprise for you. Do you have an hour or two?”

There was sounds of scraping as a chair was pushed back and Katie appeared in the upper room. Her blonde hair flowing. “You can have three, what do you want?”

“I’ve been saving up for a nice lunch, and I have enough for two. Do you want to come? It’s your birthday treat.”

“I’ve been waiting for you to ask.” she said, her voice full of happiness.

“I bet you have, you always know what I’m going to give you.” James said, smiling. “Come, lets go.”

A few minutes later, they were driving down one of the well used streets of Sunrise Valley. James checked in his mirror to see if anyone was coming and then changed lanes. “So, where do you want to go?”

Katie smiled, her smile always made him happy. “I’m guessing Harley’s BBQ?”

James smiled back at her, “We always seem to be reading each other’s minds don’t we?”

She nodded while looking out at the scenery, flashing by. There was a red light ahead and James started pushing on the break to slow down the car. Soon it became green again, so he released the break and pushed the gas pedal. To him it all happened in slow motion.

A sharp pain started on James’ leg and before he realized it, the side of which James was driving collapsed in on him as another force, pushed them partway over the median and skidded to a stop.

The world was spinning as James felt multiple cuts and was stunned by the impact of another car. James tried to move but he realized that the air bags had engaged, but even that didn’t cause him to have a concussion. Blood from multiple lacerations hurt him as he finally realized what had happened. He had been in a wreck on the drivers side. It was lucky he was alright, but he couldn’t say anything. Soon another burst of pain and he was out cold.

“Hey!” shouted a voice from far away, a hand pressed to his neck, “I’ve got a live one here!”

A sound of footsteps and then a gasp, “Oh my- Look at how the has crushed around him! We need to get him out right now.” There was a sound of scraping metal.

“No use, get the door cutter.” said another. A shuffle of footsteps later and then there was something attached to the door.

“Can you hear me son?” called a man. James was weak but he nodded slowly. “Well, we need you to stay still, we’ll get you out. Don’t worry.”

James was really weak but he squeezed out one word, “Katie...”

Silence, “She’s alright, you’re the one That’s most hurt, We need to get you out first.” There was sounds of something being wrenched off, most likely the door. Then a whirring noise followed, a few minutes later the door fell off, but shrapnel was in James’ leg, making it bleed profusely. “Oh my- We need to get him to a hospital right away.”

“One six niner, there are reports of a gas leak, work fast.”

“Roger that captain, were moving as fast as possible.”

”Did you get the other driver?”


“Yes, he’s banged up but he’s alright.”

”Okay, just get a move on team.”

“Roger that...LITTER!” the man shouted behind him. Soon James felt himself lifted and placed on the pavement. The rescuers seemed to be sliding something metal on either side of him. Then he felt himself being lifted. But he wouldn’t allow them to leave his sister.

“Katie.” James said even though he was half crazy from the concussion. “Get her out, leave me.”

“I’m sorry son, but you need to be taken to a hospital right away if you are to live.”

“No, get my sister...please!” he pleaded, “I don’t want her to die.”

The voice was trying to be soothing, “We’ll get her out next, don’t worry.”

James felt an IV being put into his arm, but he was so weak that he didn’t care. Soon, he was receiving medical attention by some emergency crew people.

“Come lets go get his sister. I’m not one to break a promise.” One said, obviously the second in command. Just then James opened his eyes and looked at the car that he had been driving. As if his gaze had set it off, the whole care exploded in flames, consuming and burning Katie’s unconscious body.

Adrenaline pumped through James as he jumped up not feeling the pain and ripped off his IV. “KATIE!” He shouted and was trying to run to the car, but two firemen stopped him by the arms and carried him back to the ambulance.

“NO! KATIE! KATIE!!!” His cry became loud and long. As if the shout of his sorrow could bring her back.

“I’m sorry, but no one could have survived that blast.” He said handing him to a medic, “Get him stabilized.”

James was forced to lay on the litter as a new IV was inserted into his arm. James’ heart was ripped from his body. This must have been a dream. She couldn’t be dead. Not her. Not now. She had such a long life ahead of her.

Just then he started hearing one of the firemen reporting to the captain.

“Are they rescued?”

“Yes, the two men are rescued.”

“Didn’t you say there were three?”

“Yes but one got caught in the explosion of one of the cars.”

Silence.... “What about the others did you get their names?”

“Yes, I have their drivers licences right here. The younger one’s name is James Eric Hertz.”

“And the second man?

“Will Robert Donnell, sir.”